Jokes Duniya

We all know Sir Isaac Newton, the man behind the laws of Physics and truly a scientist extraordinaire!! But you know what the universal laws of Physics were proven wrong and Newton was greatly disappointed.

Here’s the reason why Newton committed suicide…..

Once, Newton had come to India and he had watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. Here is how he was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk .

In the movie of Rajnikant, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!

2) In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics!! The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!

The ‘climax’ finally arrives.

Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikant can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax.

(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton finally commits suicide…

Words are not enough to embellish the glory of Rajnikant, because there’s nothing Rajnikant can’t do!! So…MIND ITtt!!

Get more of Rajnikant here

After years of togetherness of Mr. and Mrs. Bean, meet the kiddo now, yup, this time, ladies and gentlemen I introduce you little Bean! He’s studying in his fifth grade, but see….he has already turned out to become so smart and wickedd… Check out our lil’ Bean!

Call him notorious, but Lil’ Bean is something! He throws parties and invites his friends over and chills out with bottles of beers and wines. Check out his outrageous b’day bash:

The young dude is so very notorious that you won’t believe how he treats woman…I mean girls…..oh, I mean other kids. Nevermind, see him in a new avatar here:

Mr. and Mrs. Bean are wondering what to do with their little boy. May be you can help. Tell us what should be done to the boy, there has to be a way to stop his mischief?!! What do you say?

This is a must read before you get married:

Before marriage:

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you hug me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you beat me up?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After marriage – - – simply read the above conversation from bottom to top.

And, if you’re already in a tight relationship, these are the rules that you ought to follow:

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which
was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.

7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing
the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the
female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be
angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.

13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.

14. The female always gets the last word!

It’s an ongoing battle of gender. Men say they don’t understand women and women say that men are generally insensitive. So, what’s the whole hustle about? May be that is why they say men are from Mars and women from Venus.

Here’s the link to more Man versus Women battle stories.

Sardar jokes are so old and so many in number that it has been getting difficult to keep track of all the new ones that come up everyday.
Mostly blond american jokes which get transferred to sardar jokes are popular here.

Okay answer me this :

Santa Singh told his wife that after his death she should marry Banta Singh. “But why should I marry Banta who is your enemy no 1″ enquired his wife. Guess what santa replied. You will have to wait till at least tomorrow to know the answer to this question.

Some tourists in the Punjab Museum of Natural History were marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asked the guard, Santa Singh ‘Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?’ Santa replied, ‘They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.’ ‘That’s an awfully exact number,’ says the tourist. ‘How do you know their age so precisely?’
Guess what Santa replied now. You will have to wait till at least tomorrow to know the answer to this question too.

Once a sardarji was selected in Kaun Banega Crorepati. He was sitting next to Amitabh Bachchan.

Amitabh: ‘Sat sri akal ji’
Sardarji: ‘Sat sri akal’

Amitabh: ‘To aap Delhi se hain’
Sardarji: ‘Ji haan’

Amitabh: ‘To aap yahan apne pitaji ke saath aaye hain’
Sardarji: ‘Ji haan’

Amitabh: ‘Apke pitaji ka naam’
Sardarji: ‘Humm’

Amitabh: ‘Apke pitaji ka naam’
Sardarji: ‘Humm’

Amitabh: ‘Hamne pucha apke pitaji ka naam’

Sardar ji stares blankly at amitabh bachhan..
and answers..

Santa: ‘Apne char option to deeye hei nahin !!!!!’

And here is one that really made me jump up from my seat and roll on the floor with laughter…

One Santa was going to Chandigarh from Pune by an air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.

But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat.But the sardaji told:”I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave“. The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat.But sardarji was adament and did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst captain. He also came and requested,but Santa didnt leave.

Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji,and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished,the airhostess and the Asst. Capt. asked the Capt afterwards what he told to the sardarji.

Capt. told :”Nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh.All others will go to Jalandhar.”

Now that we all have laughed over the tragedy of Mr. Bachelor’s surrender to marriage, let me introduce you to the bride who’s eagerly waiting for the man of her dreams!! Oh, she’s been sooooo darn lonely all her life. The truth is that she’s waiting for her fairy tale ending. ONLY TRUE LOVE CAN TURN HER TO A LOVELY PRINCESS. Aren’t you thinking of being her bridegroom-to-be?

But it’s true, Patience is the key! Look whom has she found as her perfect soulmate…

Yup, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s Mr. BEAn Laden; you won’t believe how incredibly lovely she has become after finding her true love!!

Don’t you want to check her out now? See how amazing she looks after meeting the man of her dreams. She has totally transformed. Go here.

Wow, don’t they look as if they’re MFEO (Made For Each Other)! Now that’s what I call a Happy Ending, and you thought it only existed in fairy tales??

And you thought that Abhi-Ash or Brangelina were the best couple around?

After seeing Mr. and Mrs. Bean Laden, I’m sure you all are delighted to know about their true Happily Ever-After story. So if you were to choose between Abhi-Ash, Brangelina and Mr. and Mrs. Bean Laden, whom would you vote for?

Please vote for Mr. and Mrs. Bean, you can win free invitations to their grand Marriage Reception! Yeah,VOTE FOR BEANS!!

Take a look at the best couple again and keep voting for them: