Jokes Duniya

Would you like to go back to nursery again and learn a whole new set of A,B,C,…? Learning can be so much funnnn when you have a friend like Banta in class. He’s invented a whole new nomenclature of A for Apple. Make sure you memorize this new list!!

Banta in classroom – Madam maine “abc” yaad karli..
Madam - Ok , to sunao..

Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam – Arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple

Banta – Ok Madam…. A for apple.

B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.

H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple

V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur………..

So, let’s go to Banta and learn the new A, B, Cs from him, no more B for Ball, C for Cat, chill out, it’s time for Banta’s A, B, Cs! It’s not that hard to memorize them- An apple just makes its way for another apple and the chain goes on. Imagine the teacher’s expression after hearing Banta’s A, B, C…..Hats off to Banta!!

Hello everybody,

I was wondering what will happen to Santa Singh if he gets married? Will he say to his friends “Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.” after he gets married. No maybe Santa Singh isn’t as smart as that.

And after marriage. What will happen to the couple? Will they be as happy as they were before?

Here is a joke for women to enjoy:

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.He wanted her to see what he went through so he prays:

Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.

Read on more to see what happens to the man.

BTW this joke was also voted for the Women’s Favorite E-mail of the Year! .

But wait a minute what about the men? Dont worry. There are jokes about women for men too:

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men.

The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

Read on more here to see what happens to the women.

And here are some really funny one liners about marriage:

• A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said, “If you don’t promise to send us 100,000,000 we promise you we will kidnap your wife.” The poor man wrote back, ” I am afraid I can’t keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours.”

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• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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• I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
  I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
  Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack

For more marriage jokes.Click here to laugh.

Some pictures speak louder than words.

Don’t believe me. These pictures speak up everything about the advantages of bachelorhood. See it for yourself.

Morning : If you do not prepare Breakfast then,
Taaapaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Evening : If you talk with girls.
Dishuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm….

Night: If you Deny to take her to Restaurant.

Pataaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Its Better to be Bachelor ….
“Meine Shaadi kyon kiii ???”

But dear bachelors! never give up, you can always sustain your bachelorhood like the frog in this picture. Never say die!

Even if you did end up with your family pressurizing you for marriage, hope your wife wouldn’t look like this:

See our local spiderman after he got married. He’s said to have been caught by JJJDD (Jitendra’s Jumping Jack Dancing Disease)! So if you DO intend to get married, make sure you DO know what are you going to do?!! Check out what happened to our local spiderman here.

There are more meaningful funny pictures in store. Hope you get the stories behind every pictures! Click here to see more.

A friend of mine had a bike accident last week. It wasn’t a major injury but the fractured arm had to be plastered. I went to visit her. She wanted me to write something on her plastered arm.

What I wrote on her arm was a joke about Tarzan, after that she couldn’t help but laugh wildly. The joke became something like an instant pain reliever. Now everytime she’d get bored, resting in her bed with a fractured arm, she can read that joke and laugh her heart out.

Do you want to know what that Tarzan joke was?
“What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
==> Wow, a new Underwear for me!”

I guess that’s the fun of short and sweet jokes, they’re short but everytime you remember them you start laughing.

Actually the fun in cracking short jokes at parties or get togethers is something special because that makes people remember you. I remember an uncle who shared a joke about a sardarji and his scooter and everytime the children see him, they start calling him out- “There goes the ‘scooter uncle’….” . What I mean is that some jokes make you really remarkable because people tend to remember you by that very joke! Add some zing to your own get togethers too. See this one:

I guess my injured friend’s little cousins are not going to remember me as the “Tarzan auntie”!Just kidding, they have other strong reasons to remember me.

Anyways, I enjoy short jokes a lot because I tend to remember them more than longer ones. How about you?

Do you also enjoy cracking jokes at gatherings? So how about standing out in the crowd by cracking some funny short jokes?
May be like this one: or if you see someone drunken then may be this one:

What I say is, you always get what you give and you always get nice smiles when you share nice jokes.
Click here:

Here’re some more collection of coool Rajnikant stuffs. After Sir Isaac Newton committed suicide due to the violation of his laws of Physics by Rajnikant (click here if you’ve missed it), here’s a salute to the original superhero himself, Rajnikant-The Great.

==>Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.

==>When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

==>Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

==>Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

==>Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

==>The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

==>Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

==>Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!

==>Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

==>There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

==> Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.

==> Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

==> Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

==> Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.

==> When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,….he turns the dark off.

==> Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.

==> Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

==> Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

==> Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.

==> Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

==> When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

==> Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.