Jokes Duniya

This is a must read before you get married:

Before marriage:

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you hug me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you beat me up?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After marriage – - – simply read the above conversation from bottom to top.

And, if you’re already in a tight relationship, these are the rules that you ought to follow:

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which
was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.

7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing
the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the
female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be
angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.

13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.

14. The female always gets the last word!

It’s an ongoing battle of gender. Men say they don’t understand women and women say that men are generally insensitive. So, what’s the whole hustle about? May be that is why they say men are from Mars and women from Venus.

Here’s the link to more Man versus Women battle stories.

Some pictures speak louder than words.

Don’t believe me. These pictures speak up everything about the advantages of bachelorhood. See it for yourself.

Morning : If you do not prepare Breakfast then,
Taaapaaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Evening : If you talk with girls.
Dishuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm….

Night: If you Deny to take her to Restaurant.

Pataaaaaakkkkkkkkkk….

Its Better to be Bachelor ….
“Meine Shaadi kyon kiii ???”

But dear bachelors! never give up, you can always sustain your bachelorhood like the frog in this picture. Never say die!

Even if you did end up with your family pressurizing you for marriage, hope your wife wouldn’t look like this:

See our local spiderman after he got married. He’s said to have been caught by JJJDD (Jitendra’s Jumping Jack Dancing Disease)! So if you DO intend to get married, make sure you DO know what are you going to do?!! Check out what happened to our local spiderman here.

There are more meaningful funny pictures in store. Hope you get the stories behind every pictures! Click here to see more.

Here’re some more collection of coool Rajnikant stuffs. After Sir Isaac Newton committed suicide due to the violation of his laws of Physics by Rajnikant (click here if you’ve missed it), here’s a salute to the original superhero himself, Rajnikant-The Great.

==>Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.

==>When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

==>Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

==>Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

==>Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

==>The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

==>Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

==>Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!

==>Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

==>There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

==> Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.

==> Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

==> Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

==> Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.

==> When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,….he turns the dark off.

==> Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.

==> Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

==> Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

==> Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’s PC will crash.

==> Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

==> When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

==> Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.

We all know Sir Isaac Newton, the man behind the laws of Physics and truly a scientist extraordinaire!! But you know what the universal laws of Physics were proven wrong and Newton was greatly disappointed.

Here’s the reason why Newton committed suicide…..

Once, Newton had come to India and he had watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. Here is how he was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk .

In the movie of Rajnikant, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajnikant!

2) In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics!! The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn’t changed. Oops, not so fast!

The ‘climax’ finally arrives.

Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajnikant can’t jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax.

(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)

Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton finally commits suicide…

Words are not enough to embellish the glory of Rajnikant, because there’s nothing Rajnikant can’t do!! So…MIND ITtt!!

Get more of Rajnikant here

Ever wondered what microsoft would look like if it built a car ?
Hm..
It will of course have windows. A lot of high tech windows.And here are 2 things that I am pretty sure that microsoft will implement.

• The airbag system would say, “Are you sure?” before going off.
• To turn of the engine the driver would have to first press the start button !

 
Ah, that was funny. But we all know that technology and computers have grown to such an extent that it has almost overpowered human beings. I am not implying that it is a bad thing. But at least we can have laugh about how we are changin each day.

Take a look at these pictures to see how much daily lives have been changed:

This week we will be posting a lot more jokes like these about computers, computer companies, and other technology related stuffs.

You can get them right now here.

Okay now what if restaurants functioned like Microsoft.
Here is a possible scenario.

Guest : Waiter!

Waiter ( arrives) :

Hi, my name is Bill and I’ll be your Support. May I have your telephone number, area code first before you say anything else? Your visit may be monitored for purposes of quality control. Now, what seems to be the problem?

Guest : There’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Exit the restaurant and re-enter, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.

Guest: No, it’s still there.

Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Guest: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Guest: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Guest: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Guest: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Guest: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Guest: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Guest: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I’m running late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Guest: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.

Guest: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.

[Waiter leaves.]

Guest: Waiter! There’s a cockroach in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00

Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50

Access to support . . . . . . . . . . $10.00

Note: Bug in the soup included at no extra charge

(will be fixed with Tomorrow’s soup of the day)

Click here for more funny computer stuffs like these.