Father of One of My Kids
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.
He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”
To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!
She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”
You last wish…
Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the brunette yells, ”EARTHQUAKE!!!” Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the redhead yells, ‘‘TORNADO!” Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!” and the blonde yells, ”FIRE!!!”
Blond police officer
A blonde police officer stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The driver searches around in her handbag but can’t find it. She says to the cop, i must have left it at home officer.
The cop says, well, do you have any kind of identification? The motorist searches around in her bag again, and finds a mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, all i have is this picture of myself. The cop says, let me see it, then.
So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it and replies, “Well, if i had known you were a police officer, i wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You are free to go.”
Goalie
A blond began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids were enjoying a game of soccer.
She approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was.
A little while later however, she noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, the blond said, “Would you like me to be your friend?”
The boy hesitated, then said, “Okay”, looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, she then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone? Why don’t you go and join those boys playing soccer over there?”
“Because…..,” the little boy said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”
