A blonde and her husband are lying in bed, not able to sleep because of the neighbors constantly barking dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, ‘I’ve had enough of this!’
She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, ‘The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?’ The blonde says, ‘I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it.’
Once all the blond held a grand meeting to prove that the blonds are not stupid. They are also as smart as others. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blonds are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blond works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”
After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blonds start cheering, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, Uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened – the blonds starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”
The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?” Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 blonds jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying
“Disney World Left!”
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said “Oh well!” and started driving back home.
A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store.
After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine and pushes another button suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient.
“Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?”
The blonde turns around and says, “Yeah right! I’m not giving up this machine while I’m still winning!.”
Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
They are for those who don’t drink!
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You give her a bottle of shampoo that says: “Lather, rinse, and repeat.”
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don’t. They’re born that way.
Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn’t wake up the Sleeping Pills.
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