Jokes Duniya

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello.

He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My God, are you the dancer from my bachelor party, oh my god, I know I was drunk that night, but you got pregnant too!!Please don’t tell my wife, she’ll kill me!

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, “No, actually I’m your son’s math teacher.”

A blonde walks into a shoe shop in Florida and asks the assistant:

“Have you got any alligator shoes for sale?”.

“Yes!” He replied, “They are $2,500?

“I’m not paying that!” the shocked blonde exclaimed.

“I will go into the Everglades, catch an Alligator and get my own”

“Good luck!” said the amused assistant.

So the blonde walked out of the shop.

At 6 o’clock the assistant had finished work and was on his way home when he saw the blonde waist deep in water, holding a baseball bat.

He shouts over to the blonde; “How are you doing?”.

The blonde points over to a pile of dead alligators layed on the bank.

“I’ve killed 6 alligators and not one of them is wearing shoes!”

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde : We need help. We’re three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator : Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde : Yes.

Operator : The power in the house in on?
Blonde : Of course.

Operator : And the switch is on?
Blonde : Yes, yes.

Operator : And the bulb still won’t light up?
Blonde : No, it’s working fine.

Operator : Then what’s the problem?
Blonde : We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said the first guy. “Bet you $10 he won’t,” said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

“I can’t take your money,” said the first guy. “I cheated you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.” “No, no. Take it,” said the second guy. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!”

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane. The plane was going down fast and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped then the movie star took one and jumped and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one. The brunette said, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my bag!”