Jokes Duniya

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were under training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well… uh… that’s because the picture shows his profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are shown in the picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds “… think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The third blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm… the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

“Well, that’s an interesting answer… wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

“Wow! I can’t believe it… it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”

A blonde was very upset at all the dumb blonde jokes she was constantly hearing. She decided that she would learn all the state capitals in an effort to defend blondes everywhere. She went home and spent the entire evening learning them all.

The next day, someone at her office told a dumb blonde joke and she immediately retorted, “Hey, I bet I know something that all of you don’t know. I know all of the state capitals which proves that not all blondes are dumb.“

The people in her office were somewhat dubious. One of her co-workers finally asked, “Ok, what’s the capital of Texas?“

The blonde smugly replied, “T.”

Three women are about to be executed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead and one’s a blonde.

The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the brunette yells, ”EARTHQUAKE!!!” Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ”Ready! Aim!” Suddenly the redhead yells, ‘‘TORNADO!” Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!” and the blonde yells, ”FIRE!!!”

A blonde walks into a shoe shop in Florida and asks the assistant:

“Have you got any alligator shoes for sale?”.

“Yes!” He replied, “They are $2,500?

“I’m not paying that!” the shocked blonde exclaimed.

“I will go into the Everglades, catch an Alligator and get my own”

“Good luck!” said the amused assistant.

So the blonde walked out of the shop.

At 6 o’clock the assistant had finished work and was on his way home when he saw the blonde waist deep in water, holding a baseball bat.

He shouts over to the blonde; “How are you doing?”.

The blonde points over to a pile of dead alligators layed on the bank.

“I’ve killed 6 alligators and not one of them is wearing shoes!”

Once all the blond held a grand meeting to prove that the blonds are not stupid. They are also as smart as others. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blonds are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”

A blond works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”

After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blonds start cheering, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, Uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”

So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened – the blonds starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”

The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?” Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 blonds jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…

“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”