Jokes Duniya

HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

INTERNET woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.

CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:
Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t you will lose everything!!

ZZZZZZZZ………

Best excuses if you get caught sleeping in your computer desk by the Boss:

• I was working smarter, not harder.

• 

• I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement.
• This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
• I’m actually doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan”(SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you (boss) made me attend.
• This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

• 

• I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?
• The coffee machine is broke….
• Ah, the this is the unique and unpredictable habits of the workaholic!
• I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lenses without using my hands.
• My work partnerwent psycho and took out a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.
• And finally….I thought you (boss) were gone for the day……..!!!!!!

All of a sudden, she’s typing in a different font.

She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!

She tells you that she’s been working a lot.

And….

During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!

Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support : “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle in the surf.

He pulls out the cork and a Genie appears. The Genie says, “I have been trapped for 100 years. As a reward you can make a wish.”

Gates thinks about it as he carries the bottle back to his beach cottage. Once there, he goes to a bookshelf, pulls out an atlas and turns to a map of the Middle East. This area has seen conflict and suffering for hundreds of years. What I wish for is peace in the Middle East.

The Genie replies, “I don’t know I can do a lot, but this? Don’t you have another wish?”

Bill Gates thinks and finally says, OK. The whole world hates Microsoft because we have conquered the software market and because Windows still crashes. I wish you would make everybody love us.

The Genie says, Let me see that map again.