I asked the children in my Sunday School class, “If I sold my house and my car, held a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?”
“No!” the children all answered.
Then I said, “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?”
Again, the answer was, “No!”
“Well,” I continued, “Then how can I get to heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead!”
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology.
After one week, a test was held.
The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs. No bodies,no feet, just legs.
The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.
The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute.
Finally, he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test paper on the teacher’s desk.
“This is the worst test I have ever given.”
The teacher looked up and said, “Young man, you have flunked the test. What’s your name?“
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, “You tell me”.
Sir: ‘bachcho kasam khao kabhi sharab,sigret nahi pioge,non veg nahi khaoge.’
Bachche: ‘nahi khaenge sir.’
Sir: ‘kabhi ladkiyon ko nahi chhedoge.’
Bachche: ‘alright sir!’
Sir: ‘jua nahi kheloge.’
Bachche: ‘ok! sir.’
Sir: ‘desh ke liye jaan bhi de doge.’
Bachche: ‘de denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya!
Little Preeto came running into the house after school one day, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!”
“That’s great, sweetheart,” said her daddy. “Come in to the living room and tell me about it.”
“Well,” said Preeto, “I got 50 in spelling, 30 in Maths and 20 in Science.”
A young man comes home and says “Dad, I just got my driver’s license and so would like to use the family car.”
Father replies, :”O.K, son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we’ll see.”
Well, several months passed and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. “Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I’ve been keeping my room neat and the yard is always clean. How about letting me use the car?”
Father replies, “That’s all true, but son you didn’t cut your hair.”
Son says, “But, dad, Jesus too had long hair.”
Father replies, “Yes, son, you’re perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went.”
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