Jokes Duniya

A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners.

When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life.

“Were these dishes ever washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime.

She replied, “Of course they were cleaned Father. They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.“

He felt a bit apprehensive, but blessed the food anyway and they all started eating. The meal was delicious and he paid his compliments in spite the dirty dishes.

When dinner was over, the hostess took the dishes outside and yells:
“Here Soap! Here Water!”

==>Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.

==>When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

==>Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!

==>Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

==>Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

==>The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

==>Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.

==>Rajnikant’s every step is a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of his morning jog!

==>Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!

==>There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai!

Customer: Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?

Waiter: “How could I know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller.

==> Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

==> Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

==> Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’ PC will crash.
==> Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

==> Rajanikanth can build a snowman…. out of rain.

==> Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

==> Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

==> Rajanikanth can play the violin….on a piano.

==> When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,….he turns the dark off.

==> Rajanikanth once had a heart attack…. his heart lost.

==> When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, the pretty girl said, “I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the male clerk with a smirk.

“That’s fine,” said the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old man standing beside her, and smiled, “Grandpa will pay the bill.”