Jokes Duniya

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord of river appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Angeline Jolie “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is not true!”

The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Angelina Jolie , you would have come up with Cameroon Diaz . Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so that’s why I said yes to Angelina Jolie .”

Jaggu was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
garage that goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!“

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Don’t Marry BSNL girl ,
She has connections with all indians.
Don’t Marry IDEA girl ,
She will change your life.

Don’t Marry RELIANCE girl ,
She takes u in her mutthi mein.
Marry only HUTCH/Vodafone girl ,
She follows u where ever u go.

So Vodafone girls be ready!!

McDonald, who was very sad, met his friend Sandy in the street.

He said to his friend, “I cannot make up my mind whether to marry a wealthy widow whom i don’t love or a poor girl whom i love very much.”

Sandy said, “My dear friend, I advise you to listen to your heart and marry the poor girl that you love.”

“You are right. I will marry the poor girl.”

“In that case, can you give me the widow’s address?”

Before Marriage – - – (must read)

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of course! Over and over!
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: NO! Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you hug me?
Boy: Every chance I get!
Girl: Will you beat me up?
Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After marriage – - – simply read from bottom to top.