Jokes Duniya

Jaggu was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
garage that goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!“

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

One couple is discussing about their past, present and future.

The husband asks his wife: “If I die, with whom you will stay?”

Wife replied with sad mood: “With my sister”.

Then Wife also asked to Husband: “With whom you will stay if I died?”

Husband replied: “I will stay with your sister too.”

One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, “Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mommy asked?”

In one voice they all replied, “You, Daddy!”

For those of you who don’t already know, these are the rules that are in effect
in every relationship.

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must
immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which
was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.

7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing
the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the
female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be
angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants
him to be calm, angry or upset.

13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.

14. The female always gets the last word!

Once a husband and wife were preparing to go office and the wife thought she would drive today for the office.

Wife : Chalo na car me kahin ghumne chalte hai, aur car me drive karungi!

Huband : “Agar tum car drive karogi to jayenge car mein, aayenge akhbaar mein”!!