Dead turkeys
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
Romantic comment
Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband, “I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?”
Husband replied, “Your eyesight is still excellent.”
Submitted by: sohela mahmood
Don’t worry about studies
Son asked the father “Worry causes tension and tension causes disease, is it true dad?”
Father says, “Of course, Yes.”
Son replied, “That is why I stopped worrying about my studies.”
Submitted by: sohela mahmood
Incredible woking dog
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets.
The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.
Incredible! Exclaimed the man. I can’t believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!
No, no, pleaded the dog. Please don’t! If he finds out i can talk, he’ll make me answer the phone as well!
Four guys
There once were four guys.
One guy was brought up in a hospital and all he knew how to say was “I did it! I did it!”
Then there was a guy who was brought up in a restaurant and all he knew how to say was “forks and knives!”
Then there was a guy brought up in a candy shop and all he knew how to say was “goodie goodie gum drops!”
Then the fourth guy was brought up in a glade plug in store and all he knew how to say was “plug it in! plug it in!”
One day they all met in a park and there was this dead guy on a bench.
A cop walks up and says who did this and the first guy said “I did it! I did it!”
And the cop says how did you do this and the second guy said “forks and knives!”
The cop says what do you have to say for your selves and the third guy says “goodie goodie gum drops!”
Then the cop says you are all going in the electric chair any last words and the fourth guy says “plug it in! plug it in!”
