Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
“I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.”
Peter said, “But I could be dead by then!”
Receptionist replied, “No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment. “
A car owner taking interview of a driver and finally he told, “OK. you are selected and you will get $ 2000 as starting salary.”
The driver answered, “You are great Sir ! For starting if $2000 then for driving how much sir?
A drunken man is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.
“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have you been?“
“I’ve been to the pub,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few miles back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the man. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”
A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied.
“You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained.
“But I did slow down!” the guy argued. The cop shook his head. “You are required to stop. That’s why they’re called stop signs.”
The man started to get belligerent. “Stop, slow down – what’s the difference?”
The cop pulled out his baton. “I can show you. I’m going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down.”
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