One eyed dog
A blond and a red head were walking along a path in a park. The red head turns to the blond and says, “Poor thing look at the dog with one eye.”
The blond covers one of her eyes and says “where?”
Three blondes
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were under training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well… uh… that’s because the picture shows his profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are shown in the picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds “… think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm… the suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer… wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it… it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”
Goalie
A blond began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids were enjoying a game of soccer.
She approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was.
A little while later however, she noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, the blond said, “Would you like me to be your friend?”
The boy hesitated, then said, “Okay”, looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, she then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone? Why don’t you go and join those boys playing soccer over there?”
“Because…..,” the little boy said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”
Catch Again
After a long night, the blonde asks her friend: “Say, do you have AIDS?”.
“NO!”, the guy answers firmly, “Of course not!”
“Oh, that’s good”, replies the blonde, “I don’t wanna catch it again”.
I’m not giving up
A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store.
After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine and pushes another button suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient.
“Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?”
The blonde turns around and says, “Yeah right! I’m not giving up this machine while I’m still winning!.”
