Types of Woman
HARD-DISK woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
INTERNET woman:
Difficult to access.
SERVER woman:
Always busy when you need her.
CD-ROM woman:
She is always faster and faster.
EMAIL woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS woman:
Also called “wife”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t you will lose everything!!
Copy and Paste
Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.
If microsoft made cars
Okay , here is the full thing of the ” If microsoft made cars” joke..
Enjoy…
If Microsoft made cars…
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr Welch himself, The GM CEO): If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car. - Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. - Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine. - Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
“Car95″ or “CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats. - Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run
on five per cent of the roads. - The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single “general car default” warning light. - New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
-
- The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
- Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna. - GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or
more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
Justice Department. - Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car. - You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.
