What time is it?



A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.

Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

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Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?”

The patient calls back, “One moment!” and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter’s level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, “It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is.”

The man can’t help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.

Before he leaves, he says to the patient, “That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?”

The patient holds up his wrist and says, “I suppose I’d just look at my watch.”

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Office Memo



Dear Staff,
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
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Secret of success



A very successful partner in a big firm had a peculiar habit. He would go to his desk everyday, open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. This continued for many days.

His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity.

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Then, one day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break.

They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside – it said – “Left is debit and right is credit.”

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Timing Is Everything



A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8:30!”

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The guy replies, “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

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How I learned english



Once a peon of an office trying to speak in English to a guest. Then the guest appreciate him and told “From where you have learned to talk English?”

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The peon replied “I have learned, ‘You understand?’ from our MD, ‘I love you’ from the TV and ‘Good Morning’ from our receptionist madam.

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