A guy walks into a bar and there’s a horse serving drinks.
The horse asks, “What are you staring at?”
Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?”
The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
“How much will that be?” asks the neutron.
“For you?” replies the bartender, “No charge”
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?”
“My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.”
“Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.
“Then in September,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $90,000.”
“Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.”
“And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.”
“Three close family members lost in three months? How sad.”
“Then this month,” continued, the friend, “absolutely nothing!”
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.
1. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
5. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
6. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
7. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
8. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
9. If someone does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
“Sorry I can’t serve you,” States the barman.
“Why not?” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
“You’re under 18,” replies the barman.
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