Toilet paper
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers.
When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy. Are you the manager? she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
“Actually, No”, he replies.
Can you get him for me I need to speak to him. She is running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
I’m afraid that I can’t, breathes the barman, clearly aroused.
Is there anything I can do?
“Yes, there is”. I need you to give him a message, she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
“Tell him that there is no Toilet Paper in the ladies room.”
